Growing Older but Never Growing Up

Holy shit; I’m 30?!

I have dreaded this day for as long as I’ve known it was coming. LOL. Leaving my 20s? Noooooooooooo!

Growing up, I just remember hearing when people said they were thirty-something. I thought oh gosh, they are “old.” True story: A few weeks back, I was at a show watching some of my posing clients. One of my girls told me someone asked her, “Hey, do you know that lady hollering for you?” Lady…LADY?! I was legit offended and instantly knew…I was officially old. Ha-ha, unfortunately I just think that’s the nature of the beast when you’re young. Now, being in my 30’s, I realize I still feel like I’m sometimes not old enough to own a house, a car, run a business, or hell, even be allowed to work the stove. I mean, let’s be real. I’m still calling my mom on a regular basis asking how to scrape plastic off my hot stove. No joke; I just recently did this.

As the day has gotten closer, I have learned to accept this dreadful number and just OWN IT, BABY!!!! I honestly have never been more sure of and happy with myself, where I’m at, and where I’m going in my entire life!

LIFE LESSONS:

I have learned so much in these 30 years already. Through many life lessons, both good and bad. Self-experiences have taught me more than any education. They have also taught me a lot about myself, who I really am, and who I don’t want to be. I’ve had dark days, sad days, I’ve had high days, and days I’ll never forget. I’ve had to make some tough decisions that I thought I’d never make it through and some decisions that would turn my life around for the better! Lost some friends, family, and a love of my life, Beast. Found the other love my life and my soul mate, Greg, built beautiful friendships, and deeper relationships with my family.
Followed my dreams, my passion, and made it into a career. Saw a little bit of the world and what it has to offer. I’ve done more than I even imagined possible for myself.

WHAT I KNOW:

I know these ups and downs will continue. If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s called LIFE and shit happens!
All kinds of it. You take each day as it comes and make the most out of it. I know that life is what YOU make it. Want to be happy? BE! Want to be positive? BE! Want to be a doctor? BE! Want to have a fit life? BE! You get the point.
I know I may not enjoy getting older, but I am going to enjoy each day I get in this world. I know those days are not always promised. I’m going to live this life to the fullest, love my people, work hard, and keep on keeping on! I’d be lying if I said I knew everything or had even half of this stuff figured out… I KNOW that I don’t. For now, 30 years in, I’d say I’m doing pretty darn good and I’m pretty proud to be turning that big THREE ZERO!

There have been many situations I’ve regretted in the moment. Times I swore I’d never look back. Now, I can’t say I regret one thing! It has made me into the woman and person I am today. This 30-year-old lady (cringe) is exactly where she is supposed to be.
Now, looking back on it…I’ve truly created a life I love to LIVE!

So now I’ll make my wish, blow out my candles, and get dirty for my thirty…with cake that is!

Tawna

Photos by: Matt Blum